This is not a suicide letter, but a letter to my old self. Well it’s a bit weird writing something about your old self cause it’s you. It is my evaluation of myself 1 year ago, why? It’s my birthday I “+1” my age today. If I see myself a year ago, What are the changes occurred, What faults should I take responsible of, What are the things I neglected and those that I should not. I have many questions to myself, what I have become today? Where am I now in my life? Those questions that I can only ask to myself if I die and to live as a new person. There is a saying that “We can not see what is really in front of us.” so unless I die and reset everything what are the things I need to change and improve? but how can I ask a dead “me” so I wrote a letter.
Dear 1 Year Ago,
To wherever limbo you are, or dimension or realm, Hi! It is a really trashy year I’ve met you. You really have been an asshole to a lot of people. You change a lot, negatively. Though I never regret, meeting you. I still see good things in you, you are natural “Neutral Good” as the alignment says in RPGs. You are just confused about defending what you believe in. When you protect you become “Chaotic Evil”, you become angry and being angry is a negative karma. I can’t deny that you at least provide what you’re family needs you give them smile every time but sometimes you become too confident that when your turned down, you become angry of yourself, you are now ultra sensitive on things that’s thrown to you. You give advice but when you are on that situation you don’t follow it, it’s also hard for you to accept everything. You also ignored God once, you doubted Him, never doubt you’re creator.
Focus more on what you can do, and not to those you can’t. I am not saying that stop learning but harness first your potential more than to acquire new set of skills and knowledge. Knowledge is just out there, you have all the time to learn what you need but you can’t learn everything. Give yourself the time to learn over the edge of your potential, focus and stay with that for a while. Pyramids are not built over night. Stay with that new knowledge long enough to at least familiarize it. You don’t need to google everything that you need to learn, experience is the best teacher.
Be consistent on things that matters to you. Be responsible on your actions, embrace the consequence, do not be afraid, you might learn something. Make your own decisions and living with that decision.
Your friends are resources of inspiration and information be with them more often, of course, family comes first. Have peace on your heart, your heart is good, don’t throw it to the darkness of anger and selfishness, it just can’t live there. Give it all to God and God will take care of the rest, just believe. Share more to others it’s a good karma.
I write this letter to my dying friend, my old self. Life must go on, and keep moving forward. I will left negative vibes to my old self and change for the better.
Than you Lord for the wonderful year I need to die my old self to give way on the new. I need to welcome good karma from here on. To give shine to others and to give inspiration.
Thank you to my family for continuous support and understanding to my short comings. I hope everything will be ok this year.
Cheers for another year!